happyhappyfuntime!

In honor of one of my dearest friends who, upon reading my blog in its entirety, apparently felt "afraid" and claimed that she never knew I had "so much hate in my heart," I will now present a list entitled "Some Things That Make Me Happy."  In all honesty, I have no idea how she could be surprised, but whatevz.

Ahem.

Chocolate milk.  I love chocolate.  I love milk (much to the disgust of most people I know).  Combine the two and you get the nectar of the gods.  Just try not to think about the fact that there's probably a fair amount of pus in it.  The nectar of the gods, I say!

Being outside in nice weather.  I am seriously affected by the weather.  One cloudy day in San Diego and I'm wallowing in multiple baths and listening to The Smiths' "I Know It's Over" on repeat (read: I get depressed).  But get me outside in some pleasant weather with ample shade (I burn in, like, five minutes) and I'm happier than Jesus on Roller Skates.  I love reading in the grass, going for walks, eating alfresco...basically anything outside.

Summer evenings.  Okay, so this is related to the previous one, but I thought that it deserved its own entry.  What's better than lolling around outside in the warm summer air all night long?  I'll tell you what: nothing, sucka!  Summer evenings host barbecues, late night swimming, runs to the ice cream store/paleta cart, and warm pavement to sit on while you paint your toenails.  This is me at my happiest.

Salt, and also the salty-sweet combination.  As I cover whatever I am eating with a thick layer of salt, I often ponder the amazing influence salt has had on culture and cuisine.  I have yet to read the book (although I did read a book about sugar by anthropologist Sidney Mintz), but mostly I think about how bland food must have tasted before the introduction of salt and how totally amazing it was after.  Like, imagine that you were someone in that transitional stage--someone who was used to eating things without salt and then suddenly tasted things with salt:  "Holy crap!" (That's what you'd say, except maybe more old-timey--like, "holy crappeth!")  Anyhoo, in addition, the combination of salty and sweet is just perfection.  That's all I can say about it, really.  Per.  Fec.  Tion.

Funny cats and children.  If I had my own TV station it would be all America's Funniest Home Videos (but only the cats and children, of course; I don't want any of that man-gets-hit-in-groin or lady-falls-off-waterslide hooha) and Kids Say The Darndest Things all the time.  Lord knows how many hours I've wasted on the internets watching things like this or this or even this.  Goddamn, that's some funny shit.  I used to teach preschool and kindergarten, so I know first hand: kids really do say the darndest things!  But don't even get me started on Funniest Pets & People--that's just the leftover crap that AFV didn't want.  In the hierarchy of home video shows, AFV is like the king and FP&P is the lowly serf, plowing the VHS fields below the castle, scrounging up all the little bits of tape that get left behind during the harvest.  Oh, wait.  I'm trying to be positive in this post.  What I meant to say was...I like serfs.

Music-backed movie montages where a series of complicated events happen.  This includes movies where a fighter is shown training over a long period of time, chase scenes, '80s movies that feature the main character getting ready for the prom/their big date/their first day at school disguised as a boy, cooking scenes, and segments from Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood or Sesame Street that show you how crayons or saxophones or noodles are made.  I've often pondered why this is such a beloved film device, and I think it has something to do with the fact that we get to experience a range of emotions in sped-up time, as well as a definitive end result (all with a soundtrack, which helps to enhance the evoked feelings).   I also really enjoy any sort of Rube Goldberg machine, such as this.  Unfortunately I can't find the ultimate example, Pee Wee's breakfast machine from Pee Wee's Big Adventure, so this will have to suffice.  Bah!

Being lazy with friends.  Does this even really need an explanation?  I don't think so.  Subcategories of this one include: going out to breakfast with friends, swimming with friends, watching bad reality TV with friends, sitting on the porch with friends, getting inebriated with friends, lazing around on the couch all day with friends talking about what you're "going to do," and making up ridiculous games with friends.  There are many other subcategories, but--you guessed it--I'm too lazy to think about this anymore.  So I guess I should add "being lazy by myself" to the master list.

Being lazy by myself.  There.  It's done.

See?  I'm not such a bad person, after all.  I do have other emotions besides hate, hatred, and loathing.  I could even add more items to this list, but I'm choosing to wait until the misanthropy piles up again and I have to clear my good name once more. 

Do you feel like we've grown closer as a couple?  I sure do.

Comments

[roisin]

thanks for sharing your mushy with everyone. i knew it was in there.

[bibliochef]

Ok, I read the book on salt but not the book on sugar. What does THAT mean? Anyway, for a little more on Sidney Mintz, see a recent interview with Derek Linton at my site!

[The Sister]

1) I got no beef with chocolate milk. (Now check this shit from some of my ABQ pals: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLxi2cK4QPw)
What disgusts me more than anything is how you say it. Chocolate melk. *Melk.* Yech.
2) Me too. Only I do the Smiths/bathtub thing twice a day, rain or shine. As a side note, they now have "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" as the one and only Smiths song at Ed's Pub Leisure Bowl karaoke. And I performed it last Monday.
3) Yesssss.
4) Amen to the sweet-salty! Let's get down and dirty, here. Chocolate covered pretzels are a perennial fave. I've yet to have caramel with fleur de sel, but damn, it sounds heavenly. Chile (and lemon-cucumber or mango or papaya) or Queso y pina paletas (I just discovered this at La Michuancana, Sarah ... cheese paletas with a little stripy of frozen pinapple--it's the winner!) Crackerjacks, kettle corn et al.,
salted watermelon, salted nut brittle ... so many more. Is good.
5) Bloood!
6) Like the back door at Knout Outs titty bar, Rube Goldbeg machines should have their own discreet entry. Also, you mustn't forget about the compendium of such devices in Betty Boop's Grampy's House.