deep-fried fried on a stick (also fried)

Ah, Minnesota.  Home to at least two lakes (I haven't seen the other ones, so I can't vouch for their existence), many famous personages (or so I'm told), and fried cheese curds.  Well, actually I heard that cheese curds come from Wisconsin--but Minnesotans like them too, and act like they invented them.  Minnesotans, apparently, just enjoy laying claim to whatever they happen to like in that general area.  Prince and F. Scott Fitzgerald?  Give me a break. 

Minnesotans also like their state fair (the second largest after Texas'--a fact of which I was informed approximately seven times within two days in Minneapolis), which I'm not entirely sure is unrelated to the fact that you can get fried cheese curds there.  I had the opportunity to sample this and other delicacies this weekend, as Ian and I ventured to the Midwest for a wedding/visiting an old college friend/going to the state fair with said college friend.

Now, when I say "sample" what I really mean to say is that we built our entire day at the fair around eating fried and/or on-a-stick foods.  And when I say "delicacies," what I really mean to say is other fried foods on a stick.  And when I say "an old college friend," what I really mean to say is this douchebag.  I mean friend.  I mean douchebag.

I think we did a pretty good job pacing ourselves, with food-sharing breaks approximately every 20 to 30 minutes.  I will here try to reconstruct an accurate list of our consumption, but it's quite possible that I'll forget something:

-two (2) baskets fried cheese curds

-one (1) cup frozen custard (from Custard's Last Stand, of course)

-one (1) large paper cone Sweet Martha's chocolate chip cookies (also available in bucket size)

-two (2) glasses of all-you-can-drink milk for $1 (Kristina and I could only drink one each--how disappointing!)

-one (1) pickle dog (a dill pickle spear wrapped in cream cheese and roast beef--surprisingly refreshing!)

-one (1) large dill pickle on a stick

-one (1) tater tot hotdish  on a stick (once again, Minnesotans have a different name for a common thing: "hotdish" means casserole; the stick version consists of alternating meatballs and tater tots on a stick, battered and deep-fried, and served with what seemed essentially like canned cream of mushroom soup)

-one (1) basket Australian batter fried potatoes, complete with cheese and ranch dipping sauces

-one (1) pronto pup (it's a corndog; I don't know why they insist on a different name)

-one (1) bag Tiny Tim donuts (I think these were my favorite thing all day, aside from the pickle dog)

-one (1) gyro

-one (1) frozen, chocolate-dipped key lime pie on a stick

-one (1) deep-fried Snickers bar on a stick

I think that's all...not counting, of course, the various waters, root beers, and diet cokes consumed throughout the day.  Not too shabby between three adults (and one fetus--not mine). 

Now, besides fried food consumption, state fairs generally involve livestock, displaying the largest cabbage of the season, and portraits of Colonel Sanders rendered in grain.  Don't worry--we managed to squeeze in a few of these things between our fits of gluttony.  Observe:

   "Um...help?  Goat Wrangler?"       

         

        "Crappiest blue ribbon cabbage.  Ever."      

                

            "Wow."

                                           

We also saw:

award-winning snack mix

a wall of blue ribbon corn (seemingly completely undifferentiated from the other, non-blue ribbon walls of corn)

 

vintage corn sacks (some woman gave me a dirty look for taking this picture; perhaps she was not amused by my semi- juvenile sense of
humor?)

a giant pumpkin carved to look like fair food

 

more seed art!

So, all in all, a pretty exciting day at the fair.  It got me all revved up for the upcoming New Mexico state fair, which is basically just like the Minnesota one--except smaller, less racially homogeneous/inbred looking, with fewer (meaning none) cheese curd stands and more (meaning one) Indian Village replete with fry bread/Indian taco stands.  Mmm...statey.

Comments

[Kristina Lund Alcantara]

other than your failure to appreciate that it's a great thing that minnesotans are proud of minnesota, i think you have done a good job paying homage to the Great Minnesota Get-Together.

also, it was great to see you. and eduardo needs pictures of goats, ASAP (i would also like other pictures).

maybe at the new mexico state fair, you and ian can set up a booth talking about how BlueCrossBlueShield works up here.