The other day in one of my painfully mind-numbing prerequisite courses (entitled "Business Interpersonal Skills," just to give you an idea of how truly horrific it is), we were instructed to form groups in order to discuss the ethics of various hypothetical situations. Now, group anythings--discussions, projects, gatherings, etc.--cause me great mental anguish. And group discussions about hypothetical situations, particularly involving ethics, just ratchets the suffering up another few notches.
So, as you can see, I was already in a pretty shitty mindset. But then, of course and like magic(!),
things got even worse when I turned around to face my three male group members. One of them (let's call him "Douchebag") decided to introduce himself to the group:
Douchebag: Hi, my name is Douchebag. [shakes hands with first male group member]
First Male Group Member: Hi, I'm [whatever his name was].
Douchebag: Hi, my name is Douchebag. [shakes hands with second male group member]
Second Male Group Member: Hi, I'm [something or other].
Douchebag: ... [stares off into space, very clearly not looking at me]
Incredulous Me: ... [thinking to myself, "Wait, he didn't introduce himself to me. Wait, is he not going to introduce himself to me? Wait, wow. Wow, what a dickwad!"] HI, I'M SARAH!!! [said extremely over-enthusiastically, reaching out and pumping his hand vigorously]
Seriously, what the fuck??
And now, I'd like to write a letter to Douchebag:
Dear Douchebag,
How R U? I'm kool. Just chillin', U know?
Oh, by the way? I'm actually a person? Even though I have boobs and a vagina and stuff? And you can treat me like a normal human being, and, like, extend the kinds of normal courtesies that you share with other people? You know, the ones with wingwangs?
TTYL!
Sarah
P.S.- If you ever pull this shit on me again, I will totally call your sexist ass out in class, very loudly and with much drama. You asshat.
And, of course, the group discussion was a fucking shitshow, what with Douchebag dominating the conversation the whole time (of course) with his completely black and white moral pronouncements--which, by the way, land him in the conventional level of
Kohlberg's stages of moral development. At one point, when I stated that I disagreed with what he said, he actually responded with, "You think that's OK, even though
it goes against a federal law!?" Yes, you fucking shit-slice; just because something is a federal law doesn't mean I automatically think it's right. Oy vey.
I plan on either fiercely ignoring him or giving him the stink-eye for the rest of the semester. Hurray for passive aggressiveness!
Comments