Last night as I was driving home I saw a bumper sticker festooned with crucifixes and praying hands that said, "Want our troops home? THEN PRAY!" Now, I don't even feel the need to mention that this logic is, as the French say, retarded. However, I do take issue with the fact that the person driving that SUV clearly thinks that you and I are not doing enough in this bringing-the-troops-home endeavor, and, moreover, is telling us what we should be doing.
Well, guess what? I thought of some other bumper stickers that this person could put on their car:
Want a glass of water? Then put a pencil under your bed and wait for two weeks!
Want to get married? Then throw hotdogs in your bathtub!
Want a college degree? Then write a letter to a squirrel and eat some marmalade!
Want to stop smoking? Then take a shit on a napkin and buy a hat!
Want to make a phone call? Then vomit!
To the Worldwide Consortium of Bumper Sticker Manufacturers: call me!
Epic.
Posted by: Ian | August 08, 2009 at 08:04 PM
could I please order the stop smoking one
love,
france
ps...send me your old garbage stuff...I'll bedazzle it and send it back to you for solstice
Posted by: france | August 13, 2009 at 01:01 PM