revenge of the nerds II: more nerds.

Alright, back to business.  I promised you some epic tales of nerdery and I shall not disappoint.

However, on a side note, I have to say that I'm not entirely confident in my ability to properly convey the ridiculousness in all its glory.  The thing that's both awesome and frustrating about being a keen observer (or, you know, at least a ruthless judger) of human interactions is that there are so many weird subtleties--from tone of voice to minute changes in facial expression to the general feeling the interaction creates--that are hard to communicate and that are also an integral part of the scene. 

I frequently think (as I'm bumbling through a mangled explanation of some awferful [awful + wonderful] situation), "Why can't you just be inside my brain!?"  Because then I wouldn't have to explain all this shit--you could just know--and then also you could experience firsthand the wonder that is Bored Sarah's Magical Food Dance Party Imagination Time--everyone wins!  (Sometimes referred to as a win-win-win style of conflict resolution.)

But back to the point of all this: nerds in class.

Obviously, being exposed to the extremely nerdy is to be expected when one is going to school for computer stuff (and yes, that's a technical term); I labor under no illusions to the contrary.  Somehow, however, I'm experiencing a heretofore unimaginable level of nerdom in my Flash class.  The first few days of exposure I surprised myself by actually enjoying the nerdly goings on.  "Perhaps," I thought, "I'm turning over a new leaf!  Maybe I'm maturing and learning to appreciate the wonderful variety of human expression!"  A few days later, of course, things were back to their normal, immediately-get-annoyed-and-yet-find-myself-compelled-to-observe state.  No need to worry.

So.  Let me just tell you.  Nerds.

There are most definitely nerds scattered throughout the classroom, but I think I've somehow managed to seat myself in some kind of Nerdmuda Triangle; I'm hemmed in on all sides.  (But, actually, I'm glad that I'm not on the other side of the room, as, apparently, it's home to a small cadre of crazy alterna-xTiAnS who somehow manage to work Jesus into all of their animation projects.  And talk about how Ben Stein/creationism are awesome.  And how Obama is a commie.  And how global warming isn't real, because "come on; the climate existed before people!"  [How many days before?  Like, four, by their extremely accurate Biblical reckoning?  Maybe I should ask...])

Okay, so, there are three dudes that sit behind me who comprise a kind of nerd variety pack.  There's the wispy mustachioed, anime-obsessed "ethnic" one; the "slightly less ethnic" comic book fatty, complete with constant, overly loud comments/jokes (which are immediately punctuated with his own awkward laughter); and the white, trying-to-look-normie-but-isn't-quite-succeeding general variety of nerd guy.  The conversations back there generally consist of swapping various nerd-related suggestions (video game tips, pocket protector recommendations, etc.), spiked with a healthy dose of that weird one-upmanship (concerning things that no one should be proud of) of which nerds seem so fond. 

A typical interaction goes like this:

Variety Pack Nerd #1: ...blahblahblah, something about how I like to eat ramen.

VPN #2: Well, have you ever had REAL ramen??

VPN #1: [said immediately, in a defensive/trying-to-sound-cool voice] Yes!

VPN #2: Well, my friend TOSHIKO, who's JAPANESE blahblahblah...

(This continues on for a good while, all the dudes attempting to establish their Dominance of Lame.)

Then there's the girl that sits next to me.  I'm guessing she's all of 18 and has no idea what to do with the gigantic boobz with which she's been blessed.  Pasty skin, stringy hair, and bad glasses (as distinguished from good glasses--which I, of course, wear); spends the whole time the teacher is lecturing drawing crappy anime pictures/fine tuning random, poorly spelled "sassy" statements (like the kind you see on t-shirts worn by annoying 12-year-olds) such as "To cute to care!" and "I stoped listening a hour ago."  She is also responsible for one of my favorite animations thus far produced in the class: a scorpion blasting off in a rocket ship, followed by the words "Black Scorpion Cop. [I think she's trying to abbreviate "corporation"]: To the stars and beond!"  Awesome.

Although she's not generally a part of the Variety Pack's conversations, sometimes she just can't help herself and has to turn around and insert her own proclamations of (her perceived) awesomeness:

Variety Pack Nerd #1: ...blahblahblah something about a videogame...

Nerd Girl with Big Boobz: [not actually a part of the conversation, but has obviously been listening, and so must swivel around to face the back row] I've beaten almost all the levels!

VPN #2: Yeahhhh [spoken in a drawn-out, obviously contrived "casual" tone], I've gotten 7,498 level-4 griffin-mage points [or something] already.

VPN #1: [again, said super "casually"] Oh, really?  I'm up to 9,000.

NGBB: I would have 9,000, except that I don't want to have that many [or something equally ridiculous and defensive]...

The thing is, I have infinitely more respect for the Variety Pack than for NGBB--based solely on their  higher level of intelligence (and not, as you might suspect, for their ability to shittily reproduce images of hot Japanese monster-girls getting violated by tentacles).  Although my strong preference for intelligent people is broadly applied to the general population (and therefore isn't nerd-specific), there's definitely a special element of outrage (or at least bafflement) when I encounter an unintelligent nerd (UN).

Whatever your particular understanding of nerdiness is, I would bet that intelligence is one of the major defining factors.  (I, of course, take issue with the fact that intelligence is considered a negative [read: nerdy] attribute.  Then again, I'm, like, the reincarnation of Einstein and shit--so I might be slightly biased.)  And when you (meaning I) encounter a UN--who isn't just not functioning at an above-average level of intelligence, but who is actually incredibly stupid...wow.  It just throws my whole world view out of whack.  And makes me kind of annoyed--what right do they have being a nerd if they're not smart??  And, mostly actually, just makes me feel incredibly sorry for them.  Because, really, they have nothing going for them--no looks, social skills, or brains...how depressing.

Of course, there are many other little nerdlings in the class who I'm not describing (due to my lack of memory/stamina), so you'll just have to take my word that they're there.  Oh, but briefly?  One of the xTiAnS presented an animation for her photography business (which, supposedly, actually exists): Pazazz Designs [or something]!  Pazazz!  Unbelievable.

There's also a very pasty, lanky dude with long blond hair and glasses who wears (un-ironic) wolf shirts and makes animations involving swords/coats of arms.  I kind of want to become friends with him.  And then get him to design me a coat of arms--because you know I'm all about that medieval shit. [Note: I actually am all about that medieval shit.]

And now, very abruptly,

The End

PS: So, upon reflection, I'm pretty sure I did a shitty job of explaining things here...But I warned you at the beginning, didn't I?  Why can't all of you (two) just be inside my brain?  Mmmm, brain-meld.

PPS: I found this when I did an image search for "dancing food":

 

You're welcome.

Comments

[philipp]

wolves/swords/coats of arms ?
he might be a brother in metal !

[Nobutschill]

Nerdmuda Triangle.

[Meat Group]

I thought you would like that.

[kristin]

Before I met Philipp in person (as opposed to online---shriek), I was terrified he would have a non-ironic wolf shirt or something. I used to go to the bookstore and walk past all the aisles of his interests (namely, Star Wars, Comics & Metal) and look at what specimens were there. It was almost frightening enough to keep me from ever having a real full-face encounter with him. Glad it did not, in the end.

That's two (2) interwebz connections I would have sorely missed out on. Awwww. [Enter appropriate Full House string music].

P.S. Marry me