droller than thou.

food on film (two years later).

So, I was looking through my Flickr account and I realized that I never shared any pictures from our awferful honeymoon in Athens.  WTF?  I uploaded them and wrote little descriptions almost exactly two years ago and then did...nothing.  Shocking.

At any rate, here they are.  Oh, and be prepared: these are only pictures of food.  Because that's the most important part of vacation.  Obviously.

you say tomato, i also say it in a similar manner.

Guess what?  Apparently I like tomatoes now (mostly my Dad's heirloom variety). 

Our little girl is growing up.  Sunrise, sunset; etc.

summer bummer: more than just a clever rhyme.

The second post in one day??  What is this, Boxing Day?  Errol Barrow Day?  Actually, it's more similar to Armenian Genocide Remembrance Day.  (...Because genocide jokes are always good, right? [high-five].)

Can I tell you how much I've been fantasizing about warm weather lately?  Well, it's a lot.  We had a couple of days recently where the temperature crept up into the 50s--which was was enough to whip me into a frenzy of warm weather obsession.

As I've mentioned in several other posts (which I'm not bothering to link to right now [partially because I'm too lazy and partially because, really, who cares?]), I absolutely love being outside in pleasant weather (and, specifically, being outside on summer evenings).  And, actually, to be even more specific, I love being lazy outside in pleasant weather.

These are the things I want to do right now:

1) Go for a walk.  I'm lucky enough to live in an area with a plethora of parks (and piñatas!  [But, actually, no, not piñatas; just a library--but that's pretty exciting too.]) within walking distance.  In warmer times, I go for a walk nearly every early evening, usually completing a circuit around 3 or 4 of the aforementioned parks.  Oh, long walks: I want to go to there.  (But wait, you say--an hours-long walk doesn't exactly sound like a lazy activity.  But, actually, it is.  I go really slow and sing along with my iPod and frequently lie down in the grass for awhile...I'm good at tailoring physical activity to my special needs.)

2) Lie in the grass.  See above.

3) Wear a tanktop.  Wearing one (under a long sleeve shirt, under a sweatshirt) under my Slanket doesn't count.

4) Eat ice cream/popsicles outside.  I don't think this one needs any explanation.

5) Eat anything outside, for that matter.  Barbecues, patio seating, picnics...They will be mine.  Oh, yes; they will be mine.  Eventually.

4) Go to a baseball game.  As a wise man once said, "The Dukes are comin' out: comin' out swingin'; hustlin' all the way."  Er, I mean...go 'Topes.  (The Duke was an infinitely cooler mascot than Orbit, but I do so enjoy the chile/salsa race around the diamond...)

Gooooooooooooooooooo summer!

is it me you're looking for?

Rather than starting out this post by actually making a hilarious pop culture reference, I'm going to merely list the three pop culture references that have been jockeying for position in my brain.  I'm notorious (in some circles) for deciding not to actually say whatever terribly vulgar/delightfully witty joke I've just thought of and instead going into a rambling explanation of "well, I was going to say something about [insert basic components of terribly vulgar/delightfully witty joke without said components actually being assembled into actual joke format, thus decreasing the hilarity quotient by a significant degree], but then I decided not to."  It goes over really well, typically. 

So.  Anyhoo*. 

I was going to begin this post by inserting some sort of reference to:

1) Lionel Richie.  Specifically, the song "Hello."  Oh, wait.  I just did it in the title.  Forget about this one.

2) Milhouse.  Specifically, "Everything's coming up Milhouse!"  And, yes, there is a website.

3) Mac from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  Specifically, "What's up bitches!?"  That's pretty much the only thing he contributes to the show.  Everyone knows that Charlie and Dee are the truly important people.  Then again, I haven't watched it in awhile...

...But then I decided not to.  See, wasn't that significantly less funny than it would have been if I had actually just made the reference(s)?  Awesome!

Okay, so let's get down to the nitty-gritty folks: I've been absent a long-ass time.  I never call, I never write, I drank all your mom's "special" wine and then tried to fill the bottle up with grape juice...In short, I've been a bad friend.  But you know what?  Whatever.  I'm back now, and you should just stop all your moaning and bitching and appreciate me for the special flower that I am.  

Plus, I have so many exciting things complain about.  And I know that's the only reason why you're here.   That, and the fact that the only thing on the Olympic coverage right now is the biathlon, and that's some boring ass shit.  (Wow, all these classes at CNM are finally paying off!  I'm some kind of fucking Photoshop genius.)

So.  I'm still going to CNM (for web design and development, for those of you who don't actually pay attention to what I talk about...Mom.  [But, seriously, do you think I'd tell my Mom about this blog?  A) She's afraid to even touch a computer, and B) I talk waaaay too much about my vagina on here.])  This term is awesome, as I got all the stupid bullshit classes out of the way and now I'm only taking stuff that I actually want to learn about--huzzah!

Which reminds me: I have sooooo many things to tell you about a bullshit class I had last term.  I can't even believe it.  But that will have to wait.

Back to the present. 

...Wow, I'm actually having a hard time deciding which ridiculous community college-related anecdote to share first...It's an embarrassment of depressing, infuriating, hilarious riches! 

How about this: I'll save the actual sharing of anecdotes for next time.  Watching that clip of Charlie and Dee (above) sent me into a fit of shrieking/crying laughter and now I'm totally distracted from the cause...

Until next time, gentle reader.

*Can we just talk about "anyhoo for a minute?  Thanks.  So, for some reason I feel compelled to use "anyhoo" when I'm writing, but it is something that I never actually say out loud, because, jesus, it just sounds stupid.  I apologize for its proliferation in my posts (and can only assume its presence has something to do with all the...um...opium?  Is that what the kids are doing these days?).

on admonishment.

Last night as I was driving home I saw a bumper sticker festooned with crucifixes and praying hands that said, "Want our troops home?  THEN PRAY!"  Now, I don't even feel the need to mention that this logic is, as the French say, retarded.  However, I do take issue with the fact that the person driving that SUV clearly thinks that you and I are not doing enough in this bringing-the-troops-home endeavor, and, moreover, is telling us what we should be doing.  

Well, guess what?  I thought of some other bumper stickers that this person could put on their car:

Want a glass of water?  Then put a pencil under your bed and wait for two weeks!

Want to get married?  Then throw hotdogs in your bathtub!

Want a college degree?  Then write a letter to a squirrel and eat some marmalade!

Want to stop smoking?  Then take a shit on a napkin and buy a hat!

Want to make a phone call?  Then vomit!

To the Worldwide Consortium of Bumper Sticker Manufacturers: call me!

yessssssssssssssssssssssssss. s.

OMG!  I am so excited!  I am so excited that I'm using multiple exclamation marks!!!

I just got a new phone (the LG enV3, in case you're curious), and in addition to a bunch of awesome things about it (qwerty keyboard, better camera, easier to use, blahblahblah) it has...

A SEMICOLON!

You have no idea how happy this makes me.  Or maybe you do.

it's all goode.

I must tell you, dear reader(s), that I have been in the dandiest of dandy moods lately.  I shall enumerate:

1) My sister is getting married on Sunday.  Hip-hip-hurray, huzzah, and so on.  It's taking place in my  parents' backyard.  There will be chicken and waffles.  

2) The weather is finally fanfuckingtastic.  

3) I have been enjoying said fanfuckingtastic weather in the form of pleasant evenings in the great out of doors via long walks, lolling about in various parks, and frequenting of restaurants with patios.  Suck it, winter.

4) I have some sort of direction for the landscaping of the backyard.  Let's just say it involves a lot of urbanite.  And possibly a dance party.  Actually, I'm lying about the dance party--I don't want you to get your hopes up.      

5) The Mister and I are going to Chicago for a wedding/vacation at the end of the month.   Mostly, I plan on eating things (a bold move, I know). 

6) (I think) I'm going to get to meet Kristin and Philipp for realz.  Although it will somewhat sad to end our internet-only friendship.  Maybe we can sit across from each other at a bar and IM on our laptops.  Because this will make it less awkward.  Riiiiiiight?

7) I just figured out a cool way to do my hair.  It involves approximately 15 million bobby pins.  I saved this one for last because it's the most important.  Obvio.

on gardening, in nine easy steps.

So, this is how gardening works:

1) Get an idea about what you want to do.

2) Start to implement that idea.

3) Realize that in order to implement your idea, first you must do something else.

4) While you're doing that something else, see another thing that needs your attention.

5) Spend the rest of your day trying to deal with the new thing.

6) Don't really finish the new thing, but get back to the second thing you needed to do.

7) Realize, as you're working on the second thing, that there's a whole other gigantic project that needs to be done before you can even think about doing that second thing, let alone the first thing, and how the hell did you not realize that before?

8) Alternate between fantasies of how proud you'll be once you've done it all by yourself/hiring someone to do the rest for you.

9) Repeat steps 1-8.

Current Project: demolishing/rebuilding retaining wall; crying; building sinewy forearms.

P.S. Does anyone have any advice on how to get rid of grass in a timely manner without crazy harsh poison?

cookie time.

Sometimes we all just need a little cookie time.

on things, stuff, items, etc.

I don't like starting off a post by apologizing for not posting in a long time, so that's not what I'm doing.  I'll just say that I wish I would have posted something sooner than now, but, alas, I've been lazy and busy...but mostly lazy.  Also, nothing really that exciting and/or infuriating has happened to me lately.  How sad.  

But, in the interest of informing those of you who actually care what I'm up to, here are...some things I've been up to:

1) Not exercising.  Our elliptical machine has been making weird, knocking sounds, which makes me fear for various things, and so I've been avoiding it.  Also, I'm lazy.

2) House-hunting with some friends who are moving to Albuquerque in the near future.  They found a really awesome (like, really really awesome) Mid-Century modern house (not pictured) in my childhood neighborhood--a location which just further ups the awesome quotient.  We took a walk around the area, which I hadn't done since I lived there in 1996, and I was shocked at how many other rad Mid-Century modern houses there are there.  (For those of you locals who are interested, the neighborhood is, apparently, called "Sandia Hills" or possible "Sandia Ridge": the area bounded by Indian School & Constitution, and San Mateo & Washington, near Altura Park.)  It was like a lightbulb went off in my brain: it appears that my deep love for this style of house (which, as my sister and I say, "looks like a library") has its roots in my subconscious/memories of childhood.  The house we grew up in, and loved dearly, certainly looked like a library.  It's just weird that I never made the connection until now...I hope they get the house!

3) Nannying (or babysitting, if you prefer) for a four-month-old.  He's cute and heavy and drools a lot.  I basically make funny faces at him all day.  It's pretty fun.

4) Avoiding yard work.  I know I need to do it, but, god...I just don't want to.  I wish I was rich and could just pay someone to do the landscaping for me...Any takers?  I can pay you in stew and...more stew.  I made a lot of stew recently.

5) Enjoying school for the most part.  Right now I'm learning (X)HTML/CSS, Photoshop, JavaScript, and database design with SQL.  I've had my ups and downs--particularly in my JavaScript class which involves far too much math for my tastes--but I'm pretty pleased overall.  Learning the various programming languages is like solving puzzles, which satisfies my deep, nerdly cravings.  I also get to work out some of my artsy-fartsy juice with the actual design aspect.  Um...note to self: never use the term "artsy-fartsy," especially when it's followed by the word "juice."  That's disgusting.

6) Growing my hair out.  How long will this last (a pun, haha!)?  I have no idea.  I know that deep down in my heart I'm meant to have very short hair, and I'm positive I will be called back to the sisterhood of the pixie cut soon, but I'm having fun for the time being.  I just discovered that I can kind of do a sloppy Princess Leia-type thing with little buns on the side of my head, although I prefer to think of it as a kind of Swedish farm girl thing--but, like, after she has a roll in the hay with Bjorn and it's rather disheveled/full of hay.  But instead of hay it's weeds.  I mean, no, wait; not weeds.  Something...else.  Rainbows?  Yes.  Ahem.  My ultimate goal is to rock the milk maid look, but with bangs.  So much excitement, I know.  Try to contain yourselves.

7) Planning a trip to Chicago.  The Mister and I are going for a wedding this summer, from May 30th through June 8th.  Please heap upon me your suggestions for such things as: where to stay, what to do, and, most importantly, where to eat.  My family is wholly comprised of dedicated food tourists, and eating will definitely be at the top of the priority list.  Also, any real, live Chicago denizens are encouraged to, you know, hang out with us and crap.  I want to see you transplanted Michiganders, you know who you are!